A new Santa Baby

Dec 28 JDN 2461038

In the song “Santa Baby”, there are several high-value items requested as Christmas gifts. I’m currently working on a rewrite of the song that compares these items with humanitarian interventions of the same cost, making into a protest song—but so far I’ve had trouble making it actually singable with the meter of the song.

So for now, I thought I’d share my cost estimates and what could be purchased with those same amounts:

Sable: $1000 More expensive than most dogs, but really not that bad! In fact, some purebreds cost more than that.

1954 convertible: $28,000; yeah, classic cars are really not that expensive actually.

Yacht: There are yachts and then there are yachts. Could cost anywhere from $300,000 to $500 million.

Platinum mine: Hard to estimate, but with platinum costing $2400 per ounce and mines capable of producing thousands of ounces per year for 20 years, should be worth at least $100 million—and possibly as much as $1 billion.

Duplex: $400,000 or so, depending on the location.

Decorations at Tiffany’s: Depends on what you buy, but easily $10,000 to trim a whole tree; that store is so wildly overpriced that a jewellery box can cost you $2,000 and even an individual Christmas tree ornament can cost $160. (Seriously, don’t shop at Tiffany’s.)

Ring: Depends on a lot of factors; I’ll assume platinum, so that will run you anywhere from $400 for a basic band to $95,000 for one with a huge diamond.

The platinum mine is a clear outlier; unless you buy one of the largest yachts in the world, none of the other items even come close to its price. Aside from the yacht, all the other items add up to less than a million dollars, and even the cheapest platinum mines are clearly worth more than that.

What else could you buy for these amounts?

Well, a malaria net costs about $2, and on average every $3,000 spent saves a child’s life. A vaccine costs about $1-$5 per dose. So for the price of the platinum mine alone, we could buy 50 million malaria nets or 20 million vaccines, and either way expect to save the lives of about 30,000 children.

(Maybe some other time I’ll actually make this into something singable.)

On the other hand, if you really wanna buy a sable or a 1954 convertible, they’re really not that expensive. The former is cheaper than a purebred dog, and the latter costs about the same as a new car.

Stupid problems, stupid solutions

Oct 17 JDN 2459505

Krugman thinks we should Mint The Coin: Mint a $1 trillion platinum coin and then deposit it at the Federal Reserve, thus creating, by fiat, the money to pay for the current budget without increasing the national debt.

This sounds pretty stupid. Quite frankly, it is stupid. But sometimes stupid problems require stupid solutions. And the debt ceiling is an incredibly stupid problem.

Let’s be clear about this: Congress already passed the budget. They had a right to vote it down—that is indeed their Constitutional responsibility. But they passed it. And now that the budget is passed, including all its various changes to taxes and spending, it necessarily requires a certain amount of debt increase to make it work.

There’s really no reason to have a debt ceiling at all. This is an arbitrary self-imposed credit constraint on the US government, which is probably the single institution in the world that least needs to worry about credit constraints. The US is currently borrowing at extremely low interest rates, and has never defaulted in 200 years. There is no reason it should be worrying about taking on additional debt, especially when it is being used to pay for important long-term investments such as infrastructure and education.

But if we’re going to have a debt ceiling, it should be a simple formality. Congress does the calculation to see how much debt will be needed, and if it accepts that amount, passes the budget and raises the debt ceiling as necessary. If for whatever reason they don’t want to incur the additional debt, they should make changes to the budget accordingly—not pass the budget and then act shocked when they need to raise the debt ceiling.

In fact, there is a pretty good case to be made that the debt ceiling is a violation of the Fourteenth Amendment, which states in Section 4: “The validity of the public debt of the United States, authorized by law, including debts incurred for payment of pensions and bounties for services in suppressing insurrection or rebellion, shall not be questioned.” This was originally intended to ensure the validity of Civil War debt, but it has been interpreted by the Supreme Court to mean that all US public debt legally incurred is valid and thus render the debt ceiling un-Constitutional.

Of course, actually sending it to the Supreme Court would take a long time—too long to avoid turmoil in financial markets if the debt ceiling is not raised. So perhaps Krugman is right: Perhaps it’s time to Mint The Coin and fight stupid with stupid.